Confessions of an American Witch

Given my experience as a lodge officer and student of the Hermetic Golden Dawn and its offshoots, occasionally I need to explain (if only to remind myself) why I am not allowed to teach and lead in GD.  A who's who of the Golden Dawn community. I was not selected by a lodge to be a leader, or teacher. No, I accidentally declared myself one when attending my first Open Full Moon in fall 1996. Finding myself in the presence of a hundred-plus Denver witches, all who seemed to be experts in some esoteric field or another, I introduced myself with the only thing that I felt confident in discussing: Hermetic Golden Dawn, Thelema, and Aliester Crowley. It was either that, or talk about being an erotica author, right? Everyone who heard that initial introduction of mine, which included the mention that I was a published writer, no one ever allowed me to move past, or forget that intro. I got rewarded, or punished for it, depending upon the ego of the occultist. A couple of shop owners used...

 Given my multiple month silence on this blog, and its recent birthday, let's do a status update. Khari's Garden with a little grape vine. We are still doing the Garden Parties. Because Khari gets bored without friends and company around. The same reason that she is polyamourous---and I am not. All my events have been killed, and with good reason . . . a colon test came back bad, so I have a physical health problem on top of the mental ones. Oh, and me blogging about my secret Mormon daughter and wife for the first time in 22 years was me being Paranoid Delusional, according to a newly minted medical doctor who never saw me before, who checked with other expert, who did not speak to me. Took me off the majority of my meds (bipolar and anxiety/panic) and put me on an anti-psychotic that crashed a brick through my sphere of sensation. The proof that I was delusional was that Khari could not verify that my daughter, Zee, existed. Because I had never talked to her, or anyone, about...

 After the drama of multiple schedule, "It's on--it's off because Khari's a fickle artist," one might be interested in how my scheduled Golden Dawn study night went off. Or not.  Pretend to be as interested as this chick here. Could it be godform coloring night? First, let me get my grief about the event scheduling out of the way. I wanted a regular schedule, and Khari's an artist with an health condition who wants to be able to "on-and-off" her event as she wishes. Therefore, there is no long term advertising, just short. Not exactly how my style of marketing works. The few people on my level Hermetic Golden Dawn, or working Thelema, in the Denver, Colorado area is rare; and my joke about my most interested reader being an FBI agent, reporting to the President, could be a sad truth (occult writers profiting from black magick books are considered to be a threat according to some police departments--more so than the death threats that the author is ge...

 As you watch me build these Godform Reference books, remember that ultimately each godform consists of seven layers--each one must be build up by the Hierophant Adept. Three different sources and counting. Mistakes will be made. By Names and Images. As cherry on top, let me give you a brief idea of where I am headed with my formation with the gods and goddesses of the Forty-Two Judges of the Negative Confession. Physical : A position in space (Temple). Please note in the case of the Forty-Two, as part of an Engine, they slowly move in a chain, two rows of twenty-one. But they are present in all Outer Order Golden Dawn initiation rituals; therefore, their power is significant on the initiate, for their decision to cut the student out of the system can come at any time.  Elemental--Enochian : Each godform in GD is associated with at least one square. Astral-Emotional : Mythology surrounding the gods , much that we have sadly lost. Astrological : The Forty-Two work though the po...

 Given our preference for it, I would like you imagine how our preferred text, the Papyrus of Ani, would have been constructed under, to reflect on the workshop.  The Forty-Two have their eyes on you. Various parts of the Book of Dead would have been copied out by scribes, such as myself, as we felt the urge on slow days between important jobs. You know the jobs with proper living clients. And future business prospects. Book of Dead was apprentice work. Or vacation work. I used to take "vacation days" in food service by cleaning. The worst of the gruk. In full view of the customers. It would take me at least ten minutes to clean up; everyone could see that . . . better that my employees did their jobs, right? Nevertheless. the Book of the Dead was piece work. Not done as a whole job. It was done a Spell at a time. Or rather a sheet at a time. Sheets that would be glued together. For instance, the widow of Ani came into the workshop. Was shown the sheets available, selected th...

By Name and Image are all powers awakened by the initiates of the Hermetic tradition.  My study book before I cut it up like fish bait. What this means once you scrape off the code is that by vibrating the proper name of a goddess and picturing its image on the magical planes, we can invoke that god's power.  For any set of gods . . . even the Forty-Two Assessors of the Negative Confession. The official instructions have always frustrated me as a Cold War Ronald Reagan "Russia has a Black Magick program magician . . . you can't prove that they didn't have one . . . is that the Hermetic Golden Dawn official instructions about the image of the Forty-Two is: "Various human and animal heads" And they give us absolutely no names to work with. Why is that? Me, the black magick using witch says that this is where all the coll smiting magick is hanging out. Names, we need Names and Images. Oh, wait, our dear brother Westcott gave us Names, but no real context; an unp...

From a notebook February/March 2003: Added to the Zelator (1=10) Grade ritual of the Evolving Order of Eclectic Ways, formerly known as an Order of the Thelemic Golden Dawn, later of the Stella Mother, Isis Urania. Zelator seems to be called up to the altar to met the Hierophant.  My dear Sister Butterfly,  Bast Temple is pleased to offer you the privilege and duty of holding Outer Order Voting Rights. Because of the increased influence over the members of the lodge that such a privilege necessarily confers, the lodge requires you to take a further pledge of your fidelity to the well-being of the lodge. As with the previous oaths that you have taken in the presence of the higher powers and in the presence of your brothers and sisters of this lodge, this oath contains nothing contary to your civil, moral, or religious duties. Are you willing to take this pledge? Then place your left hand upon the symbol of the Order from which we draw our lessons-- white triangle with red cross...

 Who does not love incense night at the lodge? Other than my wife, that is. NBC night it is, Nuclear, biological, chemical warfare, it is. I am not saying that my wife, Khari, has issues surrounding incense; I am saying, volumes. While I came up through the ranks being trained by instructors who joked that if you could see the person across the Temple, there wasn't enough incense, Khari had an inhaler at one point in her life. So I don't burn as much incense as I used to, just saying. Here is a list of incense recipes . . . because I occasionally misplace my books . . . and my blog tends to stay exactly here, where I left it, so pardon me for using my digital space to keep notes for myself. Hate me for being pretty, why don't you? Tree of Life  Kether :  3 parts Chamomile 2 parts each of Rosemary and Yarrow 1 part of Sage 10 drops of Cinnamon oil per 1/4 cup of dry mixture Binah (non-poisonous) : 3 parts raisins 2 parts each of Frankincense, Myrrh, and Patchouli* 1 part J...

In her attempts to get gold stars for her decision to nuke my Mormon wife out of my life, Khari made it clear that she thought I would be a bad father. Announcer, please . . .  How to produce an artistic genius--slide one   "Weighing in at six pounds, six ounces, we have the Riverside Shakespeare . Know the first line to that poem, or song, then this is the book for you--it has the indexes. Heavy, too. Raise a daughter hefting this once a month, and you build Supergirl , able to crush bricks." During my community college years (my 40s), me and another parent of a daughter got exposed to the idea that the way to keep Shakespeare (or any great author) alive in your memory was constant refreshment.  We had a professor who read a Shakespeare play a month. Toss in the Homer and the Milton from the class, and her daughter was sure  to have exposure to classic literature. I know that at least one kid grew up in a more enriched environment, thanks to that idea. I know becaus...

In the official godform creation sheets provided to newly elected Hierophants worldwide, the Forty-Two Assessors of the Judgement are described as "Various Heads and Colors." A papyrus from the times of the Greek-Roman Egyptians . . . good times. Meanwhile, there is that prick who is using this as his source Image Papyrus. With Westcott's Names. Add in a modern translation, and a decent victim, off we go boom! How can you not love this papyrus? Damaged as it is. All dolled up. Maybe used in ritual once or twice.  All in good causes, we swear. Having declared a Mash-Up weekend, where would I get if I do exactly that:  NOM's 42 Judges' Names plus Images=xyz? What direction do we read in?  Osiris, the most important symbol of the setting, telling us to read Left to Right; so we will designate the Leftmost Assessor to be Number One.  And in this papyrus, he has a human-head. As he does in the Papyrus of Ani. Usekh-nemtet, you are good to go, as soon as we figure out t...

 During my studies and work on creating my new Necronomicon, Book of Dreaded Power, aka the new Outer Order Godform Creation Guide for the next Hierophant, I have gone back to studying horrible books in the White Tower on the Forbidden Campus. Hoori--Horus the Younger. "It will become obvious when you study both the Outer Order and Inner Order grade rituals that there are six major currents applied during ritual. They are the currents of Thoth, Isis, Horus, Nephthys, Osiris, and Christ. These can be fused together when needed to produce a very potent force, with the currents of the minor God-forms working under these main ones. These lesser energies take a back seat to the main energies because these energies provide the other powers a chance to operate during ritual. How this comes about can be best explained in a speech from the Neophyte Ritual: Let the number of the Officers in the degree and the nature of their Offices be proclaimed once again, that the powers whose images the...

 Just in case, I wasn't clear in some of my previous posts, while the Wiccan Open Full Moons that we were hosting have been cancelled, the Golden Dawn study is still on. Isis always plays three games at the same time; it's not cheating. Yes, the remote and (if anyone shows up) local Denver study of the Papyrus of Ani as Source Code for Hermetic Golden Dawn is still happening. I did not cancel my project. Just Khari's. After all, she's the one that's investing in Dragonfest as if it's going to lead to new members. It won't. If it does, then she deserves to be elected Hierophant.  Sadly, my nearly thirty years of experience in the Denver's Wiccan event community tells me that Dragonfest people only do Dragonfest--nothing else.  They only have time and energy for Dragonfest.  And there are organizational meetings all year round, so it's an all year commitment. No, we just lost Khari as the next Hierophant. Hence, if I attract members who want to elect m...

 Occasionally, I practice biblomancy because I have books--and chaos in my blood. May Odin take you, Brother Ozzy. "The soul is grander than its creations. However profound its works written, or beautiful the pictures  printed; however  stately the structures erected, or life-like the statues chiseled, the soul is grander than them all. The soul of Dante, or Shakespeare, or Milton, was sublimer than their poems. The soul of an Angelo was nobler than St. Peter's: that of Mozart diviner than his music." From the essay, The Soul: Its Value --Rev. William Hutton. Then I learned that Brother Ozzy is dead, sad . . . he might be my rebel soundtrack. The other quote was from much dreaded Confederate Albert Pike. "The Rose  was anciently sacred to Aurora and the Sun. It is a symbol of the Dawn , of the resurrection of the Light and the renewal of life, and therefore the dawn of the first day, and more particularly of the resurrection: and the Cross and Rose together are there...

Attention all students: Posted in the page section is the book list for the Fall 2025 Golden Dawn Remote and Local  Study Group . We meet once a month, starting in September. Look for a James Wasserman edition of the Book of the Dead. For those can, either in person here in Denver, or in astral form, starting September 6, 2025, I will be starting an once an month study involving books, going out in the studio, and performing a ritual, etc. Therefore, I will "heavy lodge study" on Full Moon Saturday  until the end of 2025. Whether I go past that point will depend on how much material that I have discovered, or response, or some other measurement.  I doubt Khari will be a real factor. She says there a desire to study, but she's banking on Dragonfest . . . and Dragonfest people get sucked into that Commitment Black Hole.  No, Walnut Community Church is now a cover just in case I make money as a esoteric teacher, nothing more . . . it's not to exist because I needed a sp...